Duck poop? Yes, we have reached the middle of February, and I have to say it sure looks that way. I’ve never seen anything like it.. Every night I think that, surely, tomorrow at least must bring us a calmer day. Yet, every morning, that sliver of optimism fades as last night’s news begin to light up my screen.
You simply cannot polish poop into something more palatable.
But what really gets me about this mad situation is that it seems to be (almost) as bad everywhere. Yes, of course, some countries do have larger numbers of sick and dying people, and other countries *coughBritain* seem to have given up on the idea of taking control of this pandemic altogether. Whatever happens behind the scenes, it sure looks like we either had no disaster preparedness at all, which seems a little hard to believe; or the people in charge coldly tallied the numbers and came to the conclusion that allowing “nature to take its course” would be the more economically advantageous option.
No, I’m afraid that no matter how I look at it, this truly does look like ankskit. Duck poop.
Is this actually happening? Are we really living in a time where the horrors our grandparents testified about are coming back to bite our backsides? And if so, are we seriously living in a world where between 25 and 50 per cent of the population feel that this is okay? Or, worse, something to strive for?
I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but I find it incredibly difficult to understand that there are people who, in all seriousness, believe it’s okay for other people to get hurt. That it’s ok if they suffer, are tormented and/or die. People who don’t care if children have to go without food in their stomachs or clothes on their bodies. Or sit in cages, not knowing if they’ll ever see their families again. This total lack of humanity scares me more than I have words to explain.
If you have followed me for some time, you may be aware that 2020 was meant to be the year when I started moving my blogs, and all the other texts I’ve written over the years, to the personal domains on my fictional pirate ship. And I suppose I did, really, if we want to be perfectly honest (which I suppose we do), but this is not what I had imagined my life would become when I first made those plans.
Obviously, I’m ever so grateful to have this monster project to contend with. It stops the news feed from devouring me. And, to be fair, if it wasn’t for this work I’d probably be lying here lost for the world, just staring at the ceiling, sighing and making low moaning noises.
It hurts something fierce to be dealing with so much grief, pain and misery every single day.
At least, diving into my work gives me some semblance of peace. It contains plenty of monotonous steps, like downloading, or uploading, media files. Sorting them into folders to (hopefully) help me keep track of what I have and where it’s supposed to be published. It may be website building, website maintenance, link testing or any number of monotonous tasks. I do a lot of things that aren’t visible, and then I log them in excel sheets to keep a record of what I’ve done and what I need to do next. And then I dive deeper still and lose myself in my creative writing.
My favourite moments? I have two. The top moments of my day are, first of all, my video conversations with the frog prince , and interactions with my writing buddies. The second is writing my stories, or picking up a random text, or photo, from my archives to read, remember and (perchance) edit. I go through each text to make sure it will thrive in the soil I’ve decided to plant it in.
As so often in my life, when I look around me, I am blown away by how fortunate I am.
Things are so dreadful, in so many ways, yet I find myself in a position where I can step away from it all to find solace in the little things. It brings me immense joy and makes me feel endless gratitude. Strangely, life can be sweet even in the midst of a pandemic. Extremely hard and excruciatingly painful, but sweet nevertheless.
And on that note, I will return to my work. I’m so frustratingly slow these days, but I am making steady progress. And I’m still hopeful. If I can remain covid-free, and continue this daily grind, the walls and shelves in this Green House should begin to fill up with content this year. (I have a “dream date” for the formal reveal fixed in my head, so we’ll see whether I can hit it.)
Before the turn of the year, I also hope to be able to finish my first book in the Ulfrheim series. We’ll see how it goes. For now, this is where I’ll love you and leave you.
Big hugs, my friend, and thank you for popping in to see me today!
// Evalena 😘
- The frog prince is but one of many names I use to refer to my sidekick. My bestie. My grandson, Jonulfr.